Back To Earth: The Sequel
by Sophie Temrer Rimmer-Artley
Summary: Why Kochanski really left... Rimmer/Kochanski
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is a really random fic, set after Back To Earth. Enjoy!**

Arnold J. Rimmer couldn't sleep. He was haunted by images of a person he loved more than anyone and anything. A person who, for several years now, he had thought was dead.

Rimmer was thinking of Kristine Kochanski again, just like he had every night for nearly six or seven years now. He remembered the night he fell for her as though it were yesterday...

On the anniversary of the night they had saved the disintegrating Red Dwarf, the whole crew had had a few too many to drink, and Rimmer had used his drunkenness to his advantage. He'd always thought Kris was beautiful, and he even thought he might love her, but he knew she'd never look at him twice. She had her Dave back in her reality, and not even Lister was a good enough substitute for him. So that night, not actually totally pissed, but tipsy enough to keep the worries out of his head, he had made his way into the science lab and found a tube of red liquid.

The label read "Sexual Magnetism Virus".

Rimmer had steeled himself. This thing had caused him a lot of bother the last time he'd used it, but he was willing to take chances if it meant at least one night with Kris. He'd pulled out the stopper, and, hoping against hope that the smegger still worked when you were drunk, downed the remaining drops. With that he had rushed to find Kris, not wanting to waste any precious sexual magnetism. He'd knocked on her door, and she had answered wearing only a loose cotton nightdress.

"Arnold?" she'd slurred; she obviously hadn't been to sleep yet.

"Hi Krissie." was all Rimmer had managed to say, because the next thing he knew she had leaped on him and started kissing him passionately.

The next morning the two of them had woken up side by side in Kris's bunk, both naked, exhausted and hung over, and in Kris's case, quite sore. They had showered and dressed and said nothing more about it, but the two of them both knew that there was more to it than a one night stand. They both knew they loved each other. Around a month later, Kris had run up to Rimmer while he was sitting alone in his quarters reading a book, and he could tell she'd been crying. Rimmer had wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"What's wrong?" he'd whispered.

"I'm pregnant. It's your child." she had replied.

Right there and then Rimmer felt a rush of happiness. He had hugged her for a long time and tried to convince her everything was going to be okay, and that they would work out a way to tell the others without hurting Lister, but Kris said nothing. Nothing at all. She just sat there and cried.

The next evening, Rimmer's world, which had so recently fallen perfectly into place, was torn apart when Kryten had rushed in and told them that Kochanski had been sucked out of a malfunctioning airlock. Rimmer had stayed quietly sympathetic and helped Lister calm down, but when that was over, he had run down to the cargo bay and burst into tears, howling his anguish to the high-ceilinged room. His love and his child were gone. Why did everything in this world that he adored leave him...?

Rimmer blinked back the tears that formed even now he knew Kris was alive, that his child was alive.

Suddenly a loud ringing echoed around the sleeping quarters, and Rimmer jumped in shock. What the smeg was making that noise? He got up and searched high and low, before eventually uncovering a white ringing thing that looked to be a cross between a phone and a walkie-talkie. He pressed a button marked 'receive' and held it to his ear.

"Hello?" he said dubiously.

"Arnold?"

Rimmer leaped to his feet. He knew that voice. He'd heard that voice in his mind for so long now.

"Krissie?"

"Yes, it's me. I'm coming back."

The line cut out and Rimmer simply dropped the phone thingy onto the floor.

"She's coming back!" Rimmer whispered to himself.

Somewhere across several cosmos, Kristine Kochanski set a course on Blue Midget for Red Dwarf. She then coughed loudly, the sound echoing. A young girl aged seven walked into the cockpit.

"Mum, what are you doing piloting? I thought we agreed to leave it to autopilot."

"It's okay sweetie, I'm fine, really..." Kristine broke off to cough again.

"No mum, go and rest. Let autopilot do the work." the girl insisted. Kris got up slowly, and the girl helped her to somewhere she could sit down comfortably.

"Thanks love." Kristine said. "I don't know where I'd be without your help."

"That's OK mum. Say, I can't wait to meet dad!" the girl smiled.

"Mmm." Kris said noncommittally.

"Aren't you excited to see him again?"

"Mmm." Kris repeated. The truth was, she didn't know how to take seeing Arnold Rimmer and the rest of the Red Dwarf crew again. She just knew that she had to go back, no matter what.

"Excuse me, ma'ams."

Just then, in wheeled the skutter that Kristine had wired one of Kryten's spare voice units up to, and it came to a halt next to them.

"Yes?"

"Red Dwarf is now in range. May I suggest switching to manual for the remaining two minutes of the journey?"

"Good idea, thanks." Kristine got up and walked back into the cockpit, piloting the Midget into the waiting cargo bay and landing neatly.

"Here goes. You ready?"

"Affirmative, ma'am." the skutter said.

"Yes mum."

"Welcome home." Kristine smiled, opening the door on the side of Blue Midget.

"What's happening dudes?" Holly said, appearing on the screen in the drive room.

"Not much Hol." Dave Lister shrugged.

"Sod all, actually." Rimmer added. Lister glared at him.

"Well, I've got some news."

"What news, Holly?" Kryten asked.

"A craft's just landed in the cargo bay. A Blue Midget."

Lister jumped to his feet. "It's Krissie!"

"Officer Bud-Babe? She's back?" the Cat asked. "She must be mad!"

"Come on everyone!" Lister ran off, followed closely by Rimmer, Cat and Kryten.

As they sped into the cargo bay, Rimmer and Lister stopped short. Descending from Blue Midget was Kristine, looking beautiful as ever. Following her was a short, skinny young girl, and behind her was a skutter. Rimmer knew it was his child. She couldn't be anyone else's, she had the same flowing brown hair as Kris and the same brown eyes as him. Kris walked right up to Rimmer as Lister stood there stunned.

"Arnold Rimmer, I'd like you to meet your daughter, Cosette Emily Rimmer."

Rimmer took a moment to process this, then spoke.

"Cosette? As in the main character from Les Misérables?"

"It's my favourite musical." Kristine said with a small smile. "And Emily was my mother's name."

"A beautiful name for a beautiful little girl." Rimmer said, a tear forming in the corner of his eye.

"Now wait just one goddamn smegging minute..."

"Please, Dave, not in front of Cosette..." Kris begged.

Lister pointed at Kristine. "You slept with Rimmer." he said.

"Oh, well thank you Captain Obvious, I had _no_ idea where I got my daughter from!" Kris snapped.

"You're welcome, Sergeant Sarcasm!" Lister snapped back. "How could you do this to me, Krissie?"

"How could I do what, Dave? We weren't even together!" Kristine shouted. "Don't flatter yourself into thinking I still love you, because it's been over for years. Three million, to be precise."

Lister took a step back, almost as if she'd slapped him. Cosette was staring, open-mouthed, at the scene unfolding before her, when suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She jumped and turned around.

"Dad?"

"Hi Cosette." Rimmer said softly. Cosette flung her arms around her father and hugged him tight.

A tiny flame of hope flared in Rimmer's heart.

Maybe this would be the thing that made up for all these years of hurt and heartbreak.

Maybe Cosette was the answer.

He could only wait and see...

**I hope you liked it! Review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Here we go, next chappy AT LONG FLIPPING LAST! Enjoy!**

Lister was alone in the sleeping quarters, crying silently. How could Krissie do this to him? She knew how much he loved her, and she slept with _Rimmer. _It wouldn't bother him so much if it was anyone _but_ Rimmer. The man with less charisma than Ackerman's glass eye! The man who actually almost used her as a human shield when Lister burst in with the harpoon gun on the ship where they met Cassandra! The man –

Who now had a daughter with the love of Lister's life...

Lister lost all capability of standing up, and crashed to his knees on the floor, his face in his hands as he began to sob.

There was a quiet tap at the door, then Lister heard it slide open and someone step in.

"Dave?" came Kris's voice.

"Go 'way." Lister mumbled.

"Look, Dave, you have every right to be angry and upset..."

"Damn straight I do!" Lister suddenly burst out. "I love you, Krissie! I always have! I could understand if you slept with someone else, but Rimmer?! Why him?!"

"Because he tricked me, OK? He used the sexual magnetism virus. I knew because I'd felt it before."

"And you still went along with it?" Lister said incredulously.

"For your information, it was the best sex I'd ever had, and I don't want you to ruin the memory for me! And if you even so much as _think_ of telling Cosette, you'll be dead, got it?"

Kris turned on her heel and came face to face with Rimmer.

"You heard that, huh?" she mumbled.

"Yes."

The door slid shut, closing Lister off from the two of them.

"Why did you leave? How could you put me through that? You let me believe that you and our child were dead!"

"I knew what this would do to Dave. I couldn't face telling him."

"So you faked your own death with the help of Novelty Condom Head? And that wasn't going to hurt him as much?! I'd be so angry if I..." Rimmer stopped short.

"If you what?" Kris prompted.

"If I didn't love you." Rimmer finished quietly.

Kris looked at Rimmer, and Rimmer looked at Kris, then suddenly they were kissing. Rimmer slipped an arm around Kris's waist and pulled her closer, and suddenly Rimmer found himself pinned against the wall by an exhilarated Kris.

"Um. Wow." Rimmer gasped. "Eager are we?"

"My God, you have _no _idea." Kris laughed breathlessly, resting her head on Rimmer's shoulder. Suddenly she broke away from Rimmer, coughing violently.

"Are you all right?" Rimmer asked her, gently rubbing her back.

"No, Arnold, I'm not all right. I've come back because I'm not going to be all right at all for much longer, and I needed to see you again and explain."

"Come and sit down in here." Rimmer led her to a nearby empty room and they sat down together.

"There's no easy way to say this, but when Cosette was born I had to give birth to her all alone, which was difficult enough as it is, but when I cut her umbilical cord, something got into my body that has given me some kind of viral infection. The coughing is just the beginning of it. I get fits, I'll sometimes just get my knees giving way underneath me and I collapse on the floor, I'm always exhausted..."

"Oh my God." Rimmer said softly. "Is there a cure? Some way we can stop it?"

"No. I've looked everywhere, in every blessed book I could find. This virus... it's... it's terminal... Best guess is I have about a week left."

Rimmer drew Kris into his arms as she began to sob brokenly. His heart, which had only just begun to mend itself, piece by shattered piece, began to break again.

"That's why you came back. You want someplace for Cosette to be looked after." he whispered.

"You're half right. The other reason was that I wanted to spend my last days back where I belonged. On Red Dwarf, with you and the others. I've lasted seven years of this torment all on my own. I wanted to come back home." Kris took a deep breath. "I want to be with you for the last days of my life, if you'll have me. I want us to spend as much time as possible being real parents to Cosette. I want her to trust you to look after her when I'm gone. And I want to be what we never could have been before. I want us to be together. In love."

Without hesitation Rimmer kissed her again, his hands gently cupping her face and wiping away her tears.

"Seven days, you say? I'm going to make this the best seven days you ever had, Kristine Kochanski."

**Yeah I know this was SUPREMELY short, but hey, I'M BACK! Been on a loooooooong hiatus with a serious case of writer's block but I guess I'll be getting back into this now :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I'm gonna try and get this fic into full swing and see how things turn out! Enjoy!**

Over the next three days, Rimmer and Kris spent a lot of time with their daughter Cosette, and Rimmer learned a lot of things about her. With her mum's virus slowly taking its toll, she had grown up very fast in terms of mental age, despite being only seven years old. She was a sweet young girl, intelligent beyond her years after Kris's rigorous schooling. She was often content to curl up with a good book and music pumping through her headphones, with her parents in the next room, which suited Rimmer and Kris, because they had a LOT of catching up to do. One night, when Rimmer and Kris were cuddling post-coitus, Rimmer dressed in only his boxer shorts and Kris in a knee-length blue nightie, there came a knock on the door.

"Mum? Dad? Can I come in?"

"Of course you can, darling!" Kris called back, and Cosette padded into the room, dressed in her cute pink gingham pyjamas.

"Mum, can I ask you a question?"

"You've asked me two already, sweetie, but you can ask me another." Kris joked with her daughter. Cosette giggled.

"Well... you and Daddy make a lot of noise when you're in here... and I remember reading something once..."

Kris had turned red, but Rimmer stood his ground. "So what's your question, honey?"

"Is what you're doing... the same thing you did to make me?" Cosette was now blushing too. Rimmer grabbed his dressing gown from the floor and wrapped it around himself as he got out of bed and walked over to his little girl, crouching down to her eye level.

"You are right, Cosette. What we're doing is what we did to make you. But you have to understand that you won't be having a brother or sister." Rimmer told her gently. "We're using something called contraception. Do you know what that is?" Cosette shook her head. "It's something which is used when a Daddy wants to stop the thing that makes babies getting into a Mummy."

"Does it hurt you? Or Mum?"

"No, darling, it doesn't hurt us. But you know Mummy can't have more children. You understand that, don't you, sweetheart?" Cosette nodded.

"I do understand, but I wish it wasn't true. I wish you and Mummy could stay together forever." Cosette sighed. Rimmer pulled her into a tight hug, and found tears welling up in his eyes. He felt his daughter's tiny hand patting her on the back. "Please don't cry Daddy. I'll always be here to give you a cuddle if you miss Mum."

By now Kris had begun to sob openly, and rushed over to hug her lover and her daughter.

"No. There's got to be a way to keep you with us. I can't lose you again, Kris." Rimmer said, springing to his feet and rushing out of the door. Kris picked Cosette up and carried her back into her bedroom, tucking her into bed.

"Mum, do you think Daddy can really find a way to keep you alive?"

"Darling, I would love nothing more than to stay with you and your Dad. Now get some sleep. I love you."

"Love you too Mummy." Cosette mumbled, already sleepy.

Rimmer meanwhile had gone straight to Kryten, and consulted with him about Kris's illness. After hours and hours of poring over medical books and scanning through Kryten's back-up files, they thought they finally had an answer.

"Mr Rimmer sir, you do realise that this will be a big risk to take with Miss Kochanski's life?"

"It's a risk my family is willing to take, Kryten." Rimmer assured him.

"Well, go and tell her, and I'll see you in the morning, Mr. Rimmer sir."

Rimmer sprinted back to his room, full of joy, but on his way, ended up running smack into Lister.

"In a rush, are you, Rimsy? About to go and shag my one true love again? It's disgusting. You're like a rabbit." Lister spat, his hands balled into fists in his trouser pockets.

"Lister, can we please have this conversation another time? I've got something important to tell Kris and..."

"No, Rimmer, it can't wait!" Lister cried, and suddenly a flash of silver from Lister's pocket revealed the pen-knife in his shaky grasp.

"Lister, don't do this... You're better than this. You're a real man. Real men don't solve their problems with violence."

"Well, maybe because I'm the last man in the Universe, I can set a new precedent!" Lister snapped, the knife shaking more prominently now. "I'm going to kill you Rimmer. You're in the way of my perfect life. I can even pretend Cosette is mine, give her brothers and sisters, we'll be a real family..." Suddenly Rimmer smacked the knife from Lister's hand, and it clattered to the floor.

"Listen up, Lister you smeghead, if I don't go and talk to Kristine Kochanski right now she won't live past next Tuesday!" Rimmer roared. "She's got a virus, a terminal one, and it's killing her as we speak, and Kryten and I might JUST have found a way to save her, so if you will PLEASE get the SMEG out of my way I might just be able to keep the woman we both love ALIVE!" Rimmer sped off down the corridor, leaving a silent and stunned Lister in his wake.

"Krissie, Krissie, I think we've done it!" Rimmer crowed as he bounded into their room.

"Done what, Arnold?" Kris said with a sleepy frown.

"I think Kryten and I have found a way to keep you alive!"

"You have?! Oh Arnold! Please tell me this isn't a dream!" Kris jumped into his arms and he whirled her around and around in circles.

"You're perfectly awake, Krissie, but I will warn you there is only a slim chance you'll make it through the operation, and there's no known record of the procedure ever having been performed at all..."

"I don't care! If it might save me, I'll do it!" Kris said, kissing Rimmer fervently.

"Tomorrow morning. Kryten is making all the arrangements. Don't tell Cosette until the morning though." Rimmer kissed her back with equal enthusiasm.

"She's asleep anyway. Which means..." She fell onto the bed with Rimmer on top of her. "... we can be as loud as we want." She winked.

"I am SO glad our daughter inherited my heavy sleeping habits." Rimmer said with a low chuckle as he began to trail kisses down his lover's neck.

**Boom! Next chapter! Am I on fire or what?**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I'm basically on a roll here! This is awesome!**

Rimmer watched anxiously through the window of the medi-bay as Kryten worked diligently to save Kris. He knew there was only a slim chance that Kris would get through this, but he also knew that if they hadn't at least tried it then he would never have forgiven himself.

"How's she doing, bud?" Cat said as he walked past.

"Okay, I think. I hope."

"Hey, don't sweat it man. Officer Bud-Babe's a real fighter. She's gonna be just great."

Rimmer gave Cat an awkward smile. "Thanks Cat."

"Any time, Goalpost Head. Now I gotta go find that Snakes and Ladders game your daughter wants to play. Aooow!"

Cat shimmied off down the corridor, leaving Rimmer alone to watch Kryten working. Rimmer didn't realise Lister had joined him at the window for a long time, until Lister finally said:

"I don't blame ya. For loving her, I mean. She's bloody beautiful, isn't she?"

Rimmer didn't trust himself to speak so he nodded in response.

"That doesn't mean I forgive ya for what happened though, understand?"

Rimmer sighed. "I know, Lister."

"For Cosette's sake, I hope Kryters can save her." Lister said. "I don't give a smeg whether it makes you happy or not, but if it will keep Kris's kid happy then I want Krissie to live."

"Um, thanks. I suppose." Rimmer said. Just at that moment, Kryten turned to the window and motioned for Rimmer to come in.

"Well? Well?!" Rimmer asked frantically, grabbing Kris's hand as he hurried into the room.

"All my scans are showing clear readouts. I'm pretty damn sure I've done it, Mr. Rimmer sir!" Kryten said proudly, gently removing the wires that had been stuck into Kris's body. "She'll wake up in a few moments. I'll go and fetch Cosette while you wait." Kryten walked smartly out of the medi-bay, and Rimmer watched as Kryten had a few quick words with Lister, who sighed and walked away dejectedly. After a few moments, Kris's eyelids fluttered.

"Krissie? Can you hear me?"

Kris stirred and opened her eyes to find her favourite man looking down at her. "Arnold? Am I... Did Kryten...?"

"You're going to be fine. Kryten's scans are all clear. You're going to survive!"

"I... I can't believe it!" Kris's eyes welled up with joyful tears and she pulled Rimmer down into a kiss. There was a pointed cough from the doorway and Rimmer looked up to see Kryten waiting there with Cosette.

"You did it! You saved Mum!" Cosette ran at her parents and hugged them tightly. Rimmer felt a surge of overwhelming happiness. They were together... they could be a real family at last.

Several years passed, and Cosette was turning 13 before Rimmer knew it. As he watched his daughter blow out the candles on her birthday cake, Kris suddenly came staggering into the room.

"Krissie? Is it the baby?" Rimmer asked anxiously, hurrying to her and putting his hands on her abdomen.

"Yes, I think... I think my waters have broken..."

"Yay! Mum, this is the best birthday present ever!" Cosette also rushed up, and together father and daughter helped Kris down the corridor to the medi-bay, where Kryten was waiting. He did a quick examination.

"You're nowhere near dilated enough, Miss Kochanski, ma'am, you can't give birth just yet. I'll sedate you until the time is right."

Kris began to open her mouth in protest but the needle sank into her arm before she could say anything.

"Is Mum going to be all right?" Cosette asked Kryten.

"Yes of course, Miss Cosette, ma'am, but she needs to be under observation from myself until she is dilated enough to give birth to your brother or sister.

"Okay. Can I go cut my cake, Dad?"

"Sure thing darling, go find Cat and ask him to get a knife for you." Rimmer said, kissing the top of her head. "I'm gonna stay here with mum and make sure she's all right."

"All right Dad." Cosette left the medi-bay, and Kryten looked at Rimmer.

"She's going to be just fine, Mr. Rimmer sir, but if she isn't dilated enough in the next 48 hours I may have to give her an emergency Caesarean section."

"I see. Will there be any way around that?" Rimmer asked, knowing full well that if Kris had to have a C-section then there was a slim chance of her ever having another child.

"It's all very touch and go at the moment, Mr. Rimmer sir, but if she dilates quickly enough we can proceed to birth this child naturally."

Rimmer nodded. "Will you mind if I stay? I won't be any bother, just work around me."

"All right, sir."

Just over a day and a half later, Rimmer was roused from a fitful sleep by Kryten.

"Mr. Rimmer, Mr. Rimmer! Miss Kochanski has fully dilated! We can bring her out of sedation and proceed with the birthing!"

Rimmer was instantly focused and by Kris's side, taking her hand as she slowly opened her eyes.

"Krissie darling, I need you to get ready to push, the baby can come out now. Are you ready?"

Kris nodded, then gave a gasp of pain as the first contraction after her sedation hit.

"Okay, push!" Kryten told her.

"It's okay love, you can do it, just keep pushing."

"Push harder, ma'am! I can already see its head!"

Kris pushed and pushed, and Rimmer squeezed his lover's hand, and Kryten slowly brought their second child into the world. Finally Kryten cut the umbilical cord, and it was all over.

"Oh well done, Miss Kochanski, ma'am! Another beautiful child, and this one's a bonny baby boy!" Kryten cleaned the baby off and wrapped him in a blanket, handing him to Kris.

"Oh, he's lovely!" Kris said with a sob that was equal parts exhaustion and joy. Rimmer was grinning from ear to ear as he looked at his newborn son.

"He couldn't be anything other than lovely, he's your son." Rimmer whispered, transfixed on the baby in Kris's arms.

"Have you chosen a name for him, Arnold?" Rimmer looked stunned.

"Me?"

"Of course. I chose Cosette's name by myself, so it's only fair that you name our son."

Rimmer looked at his little boy and watched him for a while. Then he knew.

"Well, Cosette's name is from Les Mis, so let's stick with the musicals theme. He should be Daniel. Danny for short, of course."

"Like Danny Zuko from Grease, right?" Kris said with a huge smile. "It's perfect."

"Daniel David Rimmer."

Kris nodded, they had decided on two different middle names long before the birth, and she hoped Lister would appreciate the gesture, as did Rimmer.

And as Lister watched them from the window of the medi-bay, and heard them announce the name of their newborn son, he turned away, ashamed and embarrassed, a tear rolling down his cheek...

**Well, that got angstier than I expected at the end! Hope you enjoyed though!**


End file.
